bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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