We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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