I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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