I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
