Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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