fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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