thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
