i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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