Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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