he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was like having sex with a tree stump
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
