Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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