do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
