Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
