my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
