Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize