Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
