I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
