Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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