Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
