Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
