before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
