Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
