We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
