omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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