So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize