I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I AM VODKA MAN
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
