Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
