why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It was confusing and full of hummus
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
