I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
