I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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