I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize