Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
