You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
