my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
