may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
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