Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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