I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i drank out of a bidet.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
