I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
