jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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