You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
