i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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