I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
