mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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