He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
