I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
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