The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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