Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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