i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
