Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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