i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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