I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
