Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
