That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize