New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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