when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
