I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
