her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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