'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
