just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Every concussion has its silver lining
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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