Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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