hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
