hotel room ftw
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Dick very happy bro
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
