Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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