you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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